{Homegrown Kids} Reflections on “Unschooling”

Speaking of unschooling

Note: Today I’m participating in a “blog hop” with a group of parents and educators who write about homeschooling gifted children. For more details, see the bottom of this post.

I’ve joked before that our homeschool methodology is “dangerously close to unschooling.”

Yet I have learned that what looks like unschooling to one person to another seems too close to traditional “school” to be defined as such.

Let me explain our approach and let you be the judge of whether or not we fit the definition.

On the one hand, I pay attention to state standards and the Common Core, reviewing them at least once a year and keeping a core app accessible on my iPad. (Yeah, geeky, I know.) We utilize prepared workbooks and have designated lesson time 3 to 4 days a week in the mornings.

On the other hand, we don’t “test” using standardized testing materials. I use the core as a benchmark, a reference tool to help keep in my head “about” where our kiddo would be grade-wise in school. Our workbooks, while educational, are primarily used to nurture executive functioning skills as they are tied to a reward (30 minutes of game time on Gamestar Mechanic or Minecraft–enough time to buy me a quiet shower). We do not follow them in a linear fashion but rather I pick and choose assignments based upon skills that he shows an interest in developing and is developmentally ready to learn.

The bulk of our educational time this year is divided between the arts (music, theatre, and performing arts classes), science camps, karate, LEGOs, and social skills development through playdates (coops and large unstructured groups don’t fit either of us well). There’s some carschooling because of all the drive time, of course–and with a little help from NPR. We’re also big fans of Lori Pickert’s project-based homeschooling concept, as we come out of the Reggio Emilia preschool tradition, too.

So, tell me, do you think that we are “unschoolers?”

Your answer will depend upon your definition and how wedded you are to any one person’s definition of it. Other families similar to us call themselves “eclectic homeschoolers,” and that definition holds appeal to me, in part because I just dig the word “eclectic.” (It makes me feel that I should wear more bohemian outfits, though.)

For me, too, the word “unschooling” isn’t about a formula but about a spirit, one that allows for dynamism in the curriculum–something that is the antithesis of drilling and testing. I draw inspiration from so many sources that it’s hard to pin any one down and say “ah, yes, that one word sums up exactly what we do.”

Frankly, I wouldn’t want to do that anyway–to have any single dominant, overarching philosophy drive our approach for twelve years. We may have come to homeschooling for a pragmatic reason (severe food allergy), yet we have embraced the freedom to be as intellectually rigorous or as relaxed as we need to be at any given time. It’s about both of us learning to nurture what is within us, what needs expression, expansion, and fine-tuning.

Come to think of it, our philosophy is a way of learning–a way of life-long learning–that I’ve believed in all my life.

You see, back when I was a little girl, I once told my mother that “I am not so much sure that teachers ‘teach.’ I think they just figure out how to draw out of us what we already know. Then we practice it with them.”

The older I get, the more that I learn and watch other people learn–the more that I think little ol’ me was probably right.

Original image source: unknown

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unschoolingbloghop

More posts on this topic are scheduled to appear on March 18, 2013. The times of publication may vary so not all links may be “live” when my post is published. Expect more links to be added to this list:

For more information in general on homeschooling gifted/2e kids, see Gifted Homeschoolers Forum

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{Giveaway & Book Excerpt} Learning in the 21st Century by Ben Curran and Neil Wetherbee

Learning in the 21st Century

It’s my pleasure today to host Ben Curran and Neil Wetherbee of Engaging Educators as they share the introduction from their new book, Learning in the 21st Century: How to Connect, Collaborate, and Create, published by GHF Press.  The publisher is also offering one lucky reader a FREE copy of the book (details at the end of this post).

Learning in the 21st Century is perfect for parents (homeschoolers and afterschoolers) who want a crash course in educational technology in the Information Age. If you’ve ever wondered how you can use your home learning lab as a place where your kids develop the tech skills sought in the marketplace while minimizing risk of exposure to “creepy-crawly people” online, then dive in to Ben and Neil’s book. ~ Pamela

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Imagine for a moment that you let all of the changes of the past 30 years pass you by. No Internet. No cell phones. No DVDs. No Facebook. No cable TV. No GPS. And so on. Can you imagine how different your life would be?

Now consider this: Our nation’s education system has remained the same for not just the past 30 years, but perhaps the past 100! The world has transformed on an epic scale. Our schools have not. This could be one reason you have decided to homeschool your children. It’s certainly one of the biggest motivators in our quest to help transform teaching and learning. (Our own six kids are our other biggest motivators!)

We’ve been working in education for a combined 20+ years and we believe learning should be fun. We believe it should be collaborative. We believe kids deserve to be connected with other kids from different regions and cultures. And, we believe they deserve the opportunity to be creators, instead of consumers, of academic content and information. We also believe that as a homeschooler, you have all the freedom that educators in traditional settings do not. Why not harness that power and discover the value of 21st century learning and the excitement of connected, collaborative, student-centered learning? Why not devote yourself to preparing your children to enter a world vastly different from the one you entered after high school and college? Your children, and ours, will be expected to know how to do things our schools aren’t teaching. We are happy to serve as your guides.

Think of this book as your manual for building a 21st century learning experience. It is our goal to provide you and your children with enough ideas and inspiration to connect, collaborate, and create. Whether you’re tech savvy or a novice, we want to not only teach you how to make these things happen, but to also push you to re-imagine the possibilities of learning in the 21st century.

Here’s how we’ll do it:

In the first section of this book, Connect, we share ideas for connecting with other homeschoolers and families via social media outlets such as blogs and Twitter.

Once you’re connected with other families, we show you in Collaborate how to engage in collaborative educational experiences with people across town or across the globe.

Finally, in Create, we provide descriptions of several online tools your children can use to create digital learning artifacts (explained later), as well as detailed explanations of some digital projects we’ve tried with students to help you get started.

As you read, we encourage you to have your computer nearby, so that you can try out the ideas we’re going to share with you. Also, be sure to use the space at the end of each section for note-taking. Feel free to dive right in to everything discussed, or try one new idea at a time and become really comfortable with it before adding a second idea to your 21st century homeschool experience. With this text as your handbook, you’ll be ready to transform your home learning environment and transport you and your children on an exciting journey that will hopefully last a lifetime.

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Giveaway Details:

For a chance to win a copy of Learning in the 21st Century, leave a comment on this post describing “why” you need it at your house or classroom.

For an extra chance to win, tweet a link to this post (you must cc: me at @RedWhiteandGrew). 

Deadline for entries is 5pm CST on Thursday, March 7, 2013. The winner will be announced in the comments section of this post and on my Facebook page the week of March 11, 2013.

Good luck!

Explore More:

• Can’t wait to read the book? Learning in the 21st Century is available for purchase on Amazon, Kindle; Barnes & Noble, Nook.

• GHF Press is part of Gifted Homeschoolers Forum

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{Sulia Saturday} What to Tell the Homeschool Skeptics (a.k.a. Your Parents or Inlaws)

In order to introduce more of you to the social media network Sulia.com, I’m going to cross-post from over there to here from time to time on Saturdays. Here’s a post from this past week on the topic of homeschooling.

It’s quite common to encounter skeptics and naysayers of the decision to homeschool.

Yet when you’re starting out as homeschool family, the negative “static” can interfere with your gaining confidence.

Some of these pooh-poohers and their rants or “friendly, desperate pleas” aren’t worth more than a smile and friendly nod.

But if it’s YOUR Mom or Dad (or inlaws or adult siblings), then things get tricky.

Here’s the best way to handle this situation:

Arrange to talk privately with dear ol’ Mom and Dad. Tell them to vent all of their worries. Listen. Take notes. Then tell them that you will revisit this conversation once a year with them. But between those annual meetings, they are to withhold criticism of your decision–especially in front of the child–either in person or via computer or phone. (That’s right–no passive-aggressive behavior on Facebook!)

Tell them that if they violate that rule, then they cannot give you annual feedback during your family’s homeschool years.

That’s it. Most skeptics want to be “heard” and will let up. Many of them will be persuaded over time that homeschooling works.

And the hardcore dissers?

Odds are that they diss MOST of your parenting, so it’s just one more thing to bug them.

Carry on!

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{Giveaway} Kiss My Aster: A Graphic Guide to Creating a Fantastic Yard Totally Tailored to You

All the garden book you need is Amanda Thomsens Kiss My Aster

One of the perks of having a modestly popular blog and social media presence is that I get to meet amazing writers and authors.

Among those folks is Amanda Thomsen (a.k.a. @kissmyaster). We met the first year that I was on Twitter–2008. In fact, I think we joined up about the same time.

Recently Amanda created an incredible gardening book, a guide to landscaping for suburbanites  that doesn’t preach or talk down to the reader. I was privileged to “blurb” the book for the publisher last fall. You can buy or win (more on that in a sec) the book and see the short-form of what I wrote in person.

But here’s my full review,* which had to be edited to fit:

Garden writing has been far too uptight for way too long. Which may explain why a lot of young homeowners steer themselves and their pricey iced coffees clear of the garden section on date night at Barnes & Noble.

Hal-o-freakin’-Lou-ya, this volume pokes stodgy ol’ garden bookishness in the eye.

Amanda Thomsen brings her readers not only a irreverent, quirky, and flirty read but also a customizable, user-friendly template to build the yard of their dreams. That’s right. Beneath Thomsen’s witty word play–not to mention the whimsical illustrations by Am I Collective–there’s a solid, pragmatic, and sensible scheme that teaches newbie gardeners how to create (and tend!) an authentic, one-of-a-kind landscape.

The ‘burbs may never be the same.

I wrote that blurb after reviewing a digital copy early last August. Having received a hard copy since–which proved to be even more stunning than the digital copy, I stand by every word in this review. And I’ll also tell you that my septuagenarian mother loved it so much that she bought multiple copies for her friends and family who need a little landscape assistance.

That’s right: My mom endorses you’re getting this book.

And, really, isn’t that all you need to know?

If you’d like a chance to win Amanda’s book–and see for yourself just how fantastic it is, then leave me a comment on this post and tell me WHY you need it.

HURRY! This giveaway has a quick turn-around as it’s winter right now and people need to get cracking on their yards for spring.

Deadline to register: 5pm CST on Thursday, February 28, 2013

To purchase the book, visit your independent bookseller or Amazon.

Blurbs on Amanda Thomsen book

*Don’t get me started on how excited that I was for my blurb to appear  alongside these by Barry Blitt and Andrew Keys.

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{Rants & Raves} What Seth Godin Doesn’t Get About “Gifted” (Bless His Heart)

Giftedness isn’t just about book smarts or applying one’s self well. It’s a state of being, neurological even.

Wouldn’t it be great to be gifted? In fact…

It turns out that choices lead to habits.

Habits become talents.

Talents are labeled gifts.

You’re not born this way, you get this way.

I count myself as a Seth Godin fan.

In fact, while working on my own book forthcoming from Gifted Homeschoolers Forum Press, I read a couple of his books to fire myself up. I was a little intimidated to tackle a topic (how to work and homeschool) that no one has really tackled before, but Seth lent me confidence through his words.

I’m afraid that Seth has made a mistake in a recent blog post–reproduced in its entirety above. He has made the all-too-common error of  confusing “gifts” with “gifted” and “giftedness.” I’m not even sure it was intentional, as I agree with him on his larger point that persistence, hard work, and passion are bigger predictors for long-term success than perhaps any other variable.

But, when I read his essay, I wanted to shout:

All people have gifts but not all people are gifted.

Alas, it’s a common mistake among people who do not live or work with gifted adults and gifted children to assume that any asserted claim to be “gifted” is a way of saying “I’m better than you” or “I’m superior.”

In fact, many adults–perhaps including Seth himself–struggle with publicly acknowledging their giftedness because they don’t want to appear like they’re saying: “I’m a more worthy human than you are.”

Oh, sure, there are pompous jackasses in the gifted population who like to brag… that’s true of any group of humans.

But most of the time gifted people that I know walk around feeling “different,” “quirky,” and even “uncomfortable”–but not superior or more worthy.

Gifted. It can be an awkward state of being, especially in a world where “normal” is prized. To come out as “gifted” means to embrace the out-of-the-ordinary state of being. Some feel cursed.

That unease is not unfounded. A lot of  us  gifted people get the message from friends, neighbors, teachers and others that we need to “dial back” any discussion of how we feel/process/think differently pretty early on. There’s a term “cutting down the tall poppies” in some countries to signify “a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticized because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.”

It happens here in the states, too. (We just don’t have an adage for it.)

That’s because most people are uncomfortable with outliers–and gifted people are outliers, especially those with IQs one, two, or more standard deviations from the norm.

But one doesn’t have to know someone’s IQ to sense that they are “gifted.”

I’ve found that you can usually tell just by spending time with them.

They are wired differently. They run differently. They think differently. And not always for the better.

In short, it’s not always “great” to be gifted. For starters, statistically, gifted kids are more apt to suffer the negative effects of being bullied.

However, if we (as a culture) remain willfully ignorant of how they are different–and fail to teach to their differences and nurture their executive skills in appropriate ways (including their capacity for tenacity and persistance) then are we hurting them? Are we hurting ourselves, as a culture?

And what about gifted kids?

Among the best essays that I’ve read on the topic of childhood giftedness is the classic “Is it a Cheetah?” by Stephanie Tolan. The cheetah represents the gifted student. This is among my favorite passages:

Even open and enlightened schools are likely to create an environment that, like the cheetah enclosures in enlightened zoos, allow some moderate running, but no room for the growing cheetah to develop the necessary muscles and stamina to become a 70 mph runner. Children in cages or enclosures, no matter how bright, are unlikely to appear highly gifted; kept from exercising their minds for too long, these children may never be able to reach the level of mental functioning they were designed for.

When we look at the topic of education in America, our gifted kids are currently getting the short end of the proverbial stick. Take for instance the grade level standards. These are typically set for the lower end of the “norm” so as to be passable by the most students. Now imagine being a Kindergarten girl with a 5th grade reading level (because you taught yourself to read at 4–with neither flashcards nor parental pressure to perform) and sitting in a classroom most of the week while the sweet kid next to you struggles with his ABCs. And then there is the high-energy, overexcitable second grade boy who builds brilliant robots and programs his older sister’s computer on the weekends but his inexperienced, overwhelmed teacher–stretched to her limits with an overcrowded classroom–wants to load him up with Ritalin to make him sit still and be quiet because he is distracting the other kids.
Think about that for a minute and you’ll see why there’s been a surge in parents of gifted kids who opt to homeschool.

In a recent CNN blog post, Carolyn Coil busted 10 myths about giftedness in the education world. In the piece, she does a brilliant job of why that phrase “gifted” is slippery. Her article is worth a read, but here’s the takeaway relevant to the mashup of Seth, cheetahs and public education that I’ve created here:

Myth No. 10: All children are gifted.

If all kids are gifted, then there is no need to identify gifted students and no need for any special programs for gifted. I strongly believe that all children have distinctive and unique qualities that make each one valuable. This does not mean, however, that all children are gifted. Being identified as gifted simply means that certain children have needs that are different from most others at their age and grade level. All gifted students need programs and services to ensure their growth rather than the loss of their outstanding abilities.

We really must remove the perception that “giftedness” can be acquired through persistence. And we also have to let loose the notion that “gifted” is just about achievement, too.

Honestly, I think we can have–no, need to have–separate public conversations about gifted v. giftedness and the role of hard work in lifetime achievement. Both merit exploration.

And in his heart I think that was what Seth was driving at with his post. Maybe.

Tell me what you think.

Explore  More:

Gifted Homeschoolers Forum

Hoagie’s Gifted Education Page

Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG)

Supporting Gifted Learners (Facebook)

Image source: The cartoon graphic at the top of this post is sourced from a Scholastic.com article, Understanding the Needs of Gifted Kids.

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BONUS: Additional responses to Seth’s post from within the gifted homeschooling blogger community:

From Ireland:
Gifted and Talented Ireland

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{Homegrown Kids} To This Day Anti-Bullying Video featuring Shane Koyczan

I shared this animated, spoken-word video on Sulia earlier–and gave some background on where it came from in my post, but it merits a share here.

It’s that good.

And I’m thrilled to see that it’s going viral this week.

It should.

We definitely need to build awareness and deepen understanding.

If you don’t believe me, please see the links below. (I’ve pulled out some remarks from each story that I think are relevant in light of this video.)

  • RW&G: Nipping Mean Girls Behavior in the Bud: The methods of covert bullying are usually picked up by kids from peers and older kids who model it. The behaviors are not exclusive to schoolyard settings, and can occur in neighborhoods, church groups, and even homeschool playgroups–pretty much any place where children gather. Any child is a potential victim, but kids who are “different” in some discernible way are most apt to be singled out. This includes kids with disabilities, food allergies, and social skills challenges as well as gifted/2e children.
  • Destabilizing the Bully Power Structure by Seth Godin: Bullying persists when bureaucracies and hierarchies permit it to continue. It’s easier to keep order in an environment where bullying can thrive (and vice versa), because the very things that permit a few to control the rest also permit bullies to do their work. The bully uses the organization’s desire for conformity to his own ends.
  • New Study Links Childhood Bullying to Adult Psychological Disorders, Surprising Even the Study’s Authors (Slate): “Consider me a reluctant convert, but I’m starting to view bullying the same way I do abuse in the home,” he said. “I honestly think the effects we’re observing here are just as potent. And that’s definitely not the way American researchers look at things. They want to know all about what parents are doing at home. Peers aren’t considered a priority. But these days, with all the time they spend on the Internet, kids are spending even more time with their peers, and that’s a factor we need to pay more attention to.”
  • Effects of Bullying Last Into Adulthood, Study Finds (New York Times blog): Victims of bullying at school, and bullies themselves, are more likely to experience psychiatric problems in childhood, studies have shown. Now researchers have found that elevated risk of psychiatric trouble extends into adulthood, sometimes even a decade after the intimidation has ended.

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{From Blog Post to Bookshelf} Why Anticipating and Appeasing the Haters is Probably Not Worth It

Screen Shot 2013-02-18 at 9.25.13 AM

I’m stuck on the last chapter of my book and it’s driving me crazy.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve become so worried about what critics of my “big ideas” will say–and trying to appease them in my text–that I’ve lost focus on the readers who will share my perspective. I’ve crossed over from considering potential “constructive feedback” to feeling paralyzed by what we’ll call “anticipatory rejection.”

Ugh.

It’s not a good place in which to write. (Or to allow one’s emotions to dwell, actually.)

We all do that, from time to time, I suppose–become so worried about what other people think that we cripple our own creativity, our mojo.

Many of us are prone to doing that when we become writers, artists, gardeners–parents even. We bounce between other people’s opinions and our own, trying to please everyone and frustrating ourselves. We scrutinize ourselves and our parenting through the lens of what everyone else is doing and wonder: “Am I doing this right?”

But it doesn’t do any good to invest an excess of time and energy into people who don’t get you–or to allow comparison  (that “thief of joy”)–to bog you down because it will sidetrack you from your goals, your dreams, your plans.

You need to spend the bulk of your precious energy on people who NEED you, your attention, your wisdom, your enthusiasm, your love. THAT will move you forward.

Lori Pickert, one of my fave writers/thinkers/bloggers, reminded me of that idea this morning in this marvelous post.

And I’m grateful to her for it. Because I need these words this Monday more than ever:
Reclaim-all-that-real

Okay. I’m going to go tackle that chapter now.

Wish me luck.

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